Kalau aku nak kata ini magis bisa ngak ?

perasaan.

Tiba tiba aku ada perasaan semacam hari nak hujan


Lalu aku korak langkah, mencari tempat berteduh


Aku jumpa pangkin untuk berteduh kala hujan


Aku dongak


Atap pangkin bocor.


Nak tunggu ke nak lari ?

#1

Satu bulan.


Syukur, aku bahagia dengan lelaki itu.


Harini, lepas aku habis test management dia bbm aku.
Dia: Sayang dah siap ?
Aku: Kejap, nak pakai tudung(hakikatnya aku tengah duduk atas katil bingung nak pakai baju apa)


Dalam kereta, dia tanya aku macam yang selalu dia buat setiap kali keluar sama. 'Sayang nak makan apa today ?' Aku pon tak tau bila baru dia nak bosan tanya aku soalan tu sebab tiap kali pon aku akan jawab, 'entahlah, you nak makan apa ?'
Dia bawak aku pergi Picadilly, dekat PJ. Sebab aku kurang sihat, dia paksa aku makan soup. Panaskan badan katanya. Macam biasa, aku makan dia pandang, aku angkat kening dia senyum. Tak sempat pergi mana mana harini, sebab dia ada test LAW. 'Takpalah at least dapat jumpa you today :)' katanya.

Aku tau, ramai yang tak suka. Tapi aku bahagia. Dan aku tak letak harapan tinggi menggunung macam yang lepas. Sebab aku taknak sakit.


Happy first month anniversary.


p/s : Aku risau izzati nak buka dengan siapa kalau aku tak ada. Dia kata uish patut bawak zaty sekali. Kesian dia sensorang. See, dia baik apa :)


#First date --> Gardens, The curve. I ate beef carbonara
First month anni --> Picadilly, PJ. I ate carbonara, again.
I wanna make love with carbonara. Bye

Tolong.

Aku cuba lari


Aku cuba sembunyi


Dan aku cuba elak


                                             Dan masih, aku sakit.


                                             Hidup, mahu kau itu apa ?


                       Aku cuma ingin rasa sedikit bahagia, tolong jangan ambil bahagia dari aku.


                      Aku merayu.

My class ends at 4 today and im waiting for him since we're going to buka together today. I got nothing to do man, after having fun posting stupid videos at my sidekick's wall, i browse through some pages and found this ! Wanna share it with you guys. So here we go


ϟ When she misses you - [ she's hurting inside ]
ϟ When she says it's over - [ she STILL want you to be hers ]
ϟ When she walks away from you mad - [ Follow her] 
ϟ When she stares at your mouth - [ Kiss her ]
ϟ When she pushes you or hits you - [ Grab her and don’t let go ]
ϟ When she starts cursing at you - [ Kiss her and tell her you love her ]
ϟ When she ignores you - [ Give her your attention]
ϟ When she pulls away - [ Pull her back ]
ϟ When you see her at her worst - [ Tell her she's beautiful ]
ϟ When you see her start crying - [Just hold her and don’t say a word ] 
ϟ When you see her walking - [ Sneak up and hug her waist from behind ]
ϟ When she's scared - [ Protect her ]
ϟ When she lays her head on your shoulder - [ Tilt her head up and kiss her ]
ϟ When she steals your favorite hoodie - [ Let her keep it and sleep with it for a night]
ϟ When she plays with your hair - [ Do the same too ]
ϟ When she's tired - [ Call her and ask her to rest ]
ϟ When she teases you - [ Tease her back and make her laugh]
ϟ When she doesn’t answer for a long time - [ reassure her that everything is okay ]
ϟ When she looks at you with doubt - [ Back yourself up with the TRUTH]
ϟ When she says that she likes you - [ she really does more than you could understand ]
ϟ When she grabs your hands - [ Hold hers and play with her fingers ]
ϟ When she bumps into you - [ bump into her back and make her laugh]
ϟ When she tells you a secret - [ keep it safe and untold ]
ϟ When she looks at you in your eyes - [ don’t look away until she does ]
ϟ When she's cold - [ hold her till she's warm ]
ϟ When she's down - [ call her and stay till she sleeps ]
ϟ When she's mad with you - [ call her till she forgive u ]
ϟ When she wants to meet you - [ straight away go for her ]
ϟ When you give her hopes - [ dont crush it down ]
ϟ When you've promised her something - [ make sure you fullfill it ]


_____________________________________


- Stay on the phone with her even if she’s not saying anything
- Talk to her even when she's silent because that's what she wants
- DON'T let her wait for you to call
- DON'T let her call you
- DON'T let her tell you when to call
- DON'T let her have the last word
- DON'T call her hot, But Gorgeous or beautiful is soo much better
- When she's mad hug her tight and don't let go
- When she says she's okay, don’t believe it, talk to her
- Call her at 12:00am on her birthday to tell her you love her
- Call her before you sleep and after you wake up
- Call her with various cute names
- Never see other girls when you got her
- Treat her like she's all that matters to you
- Stay up all night with her when she's sick
- Watch her favorite movie with her or her favorite show even if you think its stupid
- Give her the world
- DON'T be stingy with her
- DON'T let her cry or sad
- Always pamper her and give her happiness
- Let she knows how much u love her everyday
- Make effort to meet her wherever she is
- Knows her favourite things: words, outfits, accessories
- Comfort her in the way she likes
- Let her wear your clothes
- When she's bored and sad, hang out with her
- Let her know she's important
- Kiss her in the pouring rain
- When she runs up at you crying, the first thing you say is; "Who's ass am I kicking today, baby?"

#nowplaying All time low - Remembering sunday  

:)

This is my new wallpaper. 

Credit to Muhammad Fauzi.

He did this yesterday when we exchange our blackberry due to maxis coverage problem.

Bisa tak kalau aku nak jerit satu dunia kau dah curi hati aku ?

Dunia,  boleh tak kau suruh dia berhenti lima minit dari buat aku tersenyum sendiri macam orang gila ?

Bisa ngak ?

Kau

Kau siapa ? 


Harus kenapa kau ambil kisah ?


Ini hidup aku.


Sila berambus.


Kau, kau dan semua kenangan itu.


Aku ingin campak jauh dalam Laut China Selatan.


Semoga kau lemas.

Im still alive but im barely breathing..

Sigh.. Tu saja yang aku mampu. Mengeluh . I was hoping for you to be happy. But now some of your best days have become my worst. I know I shouldnt have this feeling but somehow, you know he used to be something to me. Something , urgh how should i say this. Lets just say that he means a lot to me. And it hurts you know when someone who used to be your everything decided to act like he dont know you at all, like you dont ever exist. And then he started to put all the blame on you. And now you got your freedom. Like what you wanted at first. I decided to move on, when all your friend told me not to wait for you any longer. 'Dah lah you, dia takkan berubah. Dia cuma akan lukakan hati you. Tolonglah bukak mata you dekat orang yang betul betul boleh hargai you' K thats what your best friend told me. Your very best friend. And now im moving on, but when i make it official to the public, some of them was like ' Moving on is it ? Lol' 'So much for moving on ?' etc etc. Weyyy korang nak apa ? Hidup, mahu kau itu apa ? Aku letih macam ni. I just wanted to be happy. So pleaseee ? And now you finally met a girl who's going to put you first, after a day I make it official on twitter. And nobody say a bloody word bout it. Nobody. Everyone was like 'hey siapa N tu nak tgk gambar ' Dan si perempuan tu , trying to be protective is it ? Aku nampak permainan kau. Permainan kotor kau.Cukuplah perempuan, biar tenang hidup aku.
All these while when i ask you to come clean to me, bout all the girls at your college, at matrics, you keep on denying bout it. 'Mana ada, mana ada ' Yeah semuanya mana ada. Mana ada aku baca inbox kau bersayang bagai dengan si rambut maggi tu ? Mana ada kau menggedik dengan senior kau ? And just now kau upload album dengan senior kau tu overnight sana sini ? Mana ada kau kenal kau kata ?
Sudahlah, they say bad things happen for reason but somehow no wise words can stop all the bleeding. Be happy, stop calling me with bad names, cause i'd never ever do that to you even im freaking mad at you. I misses our memories even thinking bout it suffocate me. I can never get the chance to clean the air to our friends but, Allah know everything. Thats more than enough to me. 


And, Ya Allah, thank you for everything. Im way happier with my life now. With my boo. I know he would never do those thing like what you've done to me. He appreciates me. We dont put high expectation cause we're too afraid of dissapointment. And we never promise each other the world or whatever like other couples did. We're cool liddat kan sayang ? Now lets just keep our head straight and see what we got for each other. Thank you, fm.

                                       I got way too attached to you - fm

29.10

Aku kira untuk biar nama kau itu dekat sama hati bukan salah.Untukk ingat bagaimana semuanya bermula.When it all happened. How we developed into what we are today. I never fails to mention your name in my prayers. What we had, is real. But somehow people change. You changed. Then, i started to develop into someone new. Someone that i'd never thought i would turn into. I was sensitive then but now, im super sensitive. And it sucks to be one. I still remember how i used to be the girl with broken heart. The girl who isolated herself just to cry herself out every night. Every single night. You told me you're moving on. And i'm stuck there, suffocating. Hopeless. I told you im willing to wait, im willling to give you time. But all you said is ' Sudahlah, kita tak sehaluan. You takkan penah boleh faham i. Lagi baik kita buat hal masing masing. Lets remain friends okay ? ' Ouch, it  hurts, a lot. And apa yang I simpan kuat dalam tangan I is when you cakap ' Sekali I dah ludah, I takkan jilat balik ' (Y) That's exactly hat you said when I mintak you balik pada I. I've told you before, karma is a bitch. Look who came back asking for my forgiveness. Look who told me that he's willing to do anything that he can so we can be like before ? 
Somehow, i cant find a way to forgive you. I tried. But I cant. The pain, I just dont think I can handle it. Sebab hati dah berkecai. Aku cuma nak kau rasa pedih yang aku rasa. Even sekejap. At least kau rasa. Sikit pon jadilah. So that you know, perit yang aku rasa. And too bad, i dnt hold grudge. Thats just not me. I decided to forgive you. But for us to be like before, hmmmm i dont think so. And to think back, its not your fault hundred percent. And its not my fault either. Bak kata Firhaein ' Engkau bukan pesalah, engkau hanya seorang yang tidak lagi mencinta ' Yeah, that descibes you best.


But somehow all those pain is the best teacher for me. I learned to be strong. What im trying to say here, thank you for all the memories. Thank you for being there for me, thank you for everything.I'll keep our memories close to my heart. And please, be happy. Without me. I'll pray for you, always. 

Oh bulan.

You’re better than the best. I’m just lucky to linger in your light. Just the thought of you can drive me wild,
 Fauzi Mohamad.