Friday, August 5, 2011
Aku kira untuk biar nama kau itu dekat sama hati bukan salah.Untukk ingat bagaimana semuanya bermula.When it all happened. How we developed into what we are today. I never fails to mention your name in my prayers. What we had, is real. But somehow people change. You changed. Then, i started to develop into someone new. Someone that i'd never thought i would turn into. I was sensitive then but now, im super sensitive. And it sucks to be one. I still remember how i used to be the girl with broken heart. The girl who isolated herself just to cry herself out every night. Every single night. You told me you're moving on. And i'm stuck there, suffocating. Hopeless. I told you im willing to wait, im willling to give you time. But all you said is ' Sudahlah, kita tak sehaluan. You takkan penah boleh faham i. Lagi baik kita buat hal masing masing. Lets remain friends okay ? ' Ouch, it hurts, a lot. And apa yang I simpan kuat dalam tangan I is when you cakap ' Sekali I dah ludah, I takkan jilat balik ' (Y) That's exactly hat you said when I mintak you balik pada I. I've told you before, karma is a bitch. Look who came back asking for my forgiveness. Look who told me that he's willing to do anything that he can so we can be like before ?
Somehow, i cant find a way to forgive you. I tried. But I cant. The pain, I just dont think I can handle it. Sebab hati dah berkecai. Aku cuma nak kau rasa pedih yang aku rasa. Even sekejap. At least kau rasa. Sikit pon jadilah. So that you know, perit yang aku rasa. And too bad, i dnt hold grudge. Thats just not me. I decided to forgive you. But for us to be like before, hmmmm i dont think so. And to think back, its not your fault hundred percent. And its not my fault either. Bak kata Firhaein ' Engkau bukan pesalah, engkau hanya seorang yang tidak lagi mencinta ' Yeah, that descibes you best.
But somehow all those pain is the best teacher for me. I learned to be strong. What im trying to say here, thank you for all the memories. Thank you for being there for me, thank you for everything.I'll keep our memories close to my heart. And please, be happy. Without me. I'll pray for you, always.